


Moonlit Nightmares

by Chellendora



Category: Harry Potter - Fandom, The Maraders
Genre: F/M, Reader-Insert, you fiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-07-23
Updated: 2010-07-23
Packaged: 2017-12-31 21:57:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 15,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1036824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chellendora/pseuds/Chellendora
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When you return to Hogwarts for your sixth year you're carrying more than just your trunk--you have a horrible secret. You're a werewolf now. Dumbledore makes the arrangements, but suggests that you befriend Remus Lupin.</p><p>You/Remus</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Nerves

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this a long time ago and it's fully posted on HPFF, and was posted on here on my old account (DowncastMercy). I decided to go ahead and post it back.
> 
> Keep in mind that this is old and my writing has improved and changed drastically since this was written. It's also much, much shorter than I like for my chapters to be now.

**_Moonlit Nightmares_ **

Chapter I – Nerves

You looked down at your nails. They had been long and well taken care of at the start of the journey, but now they were bitten down until you couldn’t bite anymore. They stung, but you ignored it and kept chewing on what was left as you watched the Hogwarts castle come into view. The train rolled along the tracks silently, the gentle rocking had put the journey wary to sleep; but most were awake and relaxing, dreaming of the wonderful feast waiting for them. Only the first years were excited, whether it was nerves, fear, or happiness fueling the emotion.

“Lacelin?” Lily looked up from her book and watched you with concern. “Are you sure you’re all right?” she asked for the tenth time since the trip started. 

You nodded and faked a smile. “Just nervous about our sixth year, I told you that.” You lied.

“Oh.” Lily smiled with sympathy. “It’ll be fine. At least we don’t have our N.E.W.T.S. till next year. It’s not like you to be nervous unless there’s a test involved.”

“Yeah….” You laughed nervously. “First time for everything, huh?”

She nodded in understanding and lowered her eyes back to her book, the goddess green irises immediately scanning the lines of black text.

You weren’t nervous about the new year. The first year when everyone was afraid, you were only intrigued. You were one for adventure, but never searched for it. Normally, you weren’t a fidgety person, but this situation called for some nerves, and had you eating your fingers. You were grateful that Lily didn’t read too much into it.

Once the train had come to a stop, you followed Lily and her popular friends to a carriage and climbed in. Lily’s friends didn’t like you, at all. They always told Lily to just dump you, but she never did. She always had time for you. You took pride in thinking that you were her only true friend. Lily would befriend anyone. She seemed to always have a smile or a comforting hug for anyone. Most people would see this as a weakness but she shone with an obvious strength. No one could walk over Lily Evans.

You sat in silence as the girls chattered about their summer and boys, and still didn’t say a word when you reached the castle. It gave you some comfort to see the huge stone building in front of you. Your home away from home: Hogwarts. The windows were lit warmly and the quarter moon shined on the lake where the first years had made their journey. Everyone around you was cheerful, if only you didn’t have such a heavy heart and mind.

You lost Lily in the crowd to get into the Great Hall, so you sat down next to Jodie Foster at the Gryffindor table. Jodie was a pretty girl, but she hid it under her tomboy clothes. She had chin length brown hair and forest green eyes. She liked to shop in the men’s section of the store and most of her friends were guys who played Quidditch. You didn’t like to think you were very girly, but sitting next to Jodie made you feel like one of Lily’s shallow friends.

“Hi, Lacey!” Jodie said very cheerfully. “How was your summer, hm? Mine was amazing! We went to Ireland to visit my great-grandmamma and, blimey, was it great!” she said without taking a single breath.

You smiled at her. “My summer was…mundane.” That was a lie if you ever heard one.

One attribute that remained feminine was her ability to talk. Jodie was often annoying, but you couldn’t help but love her. She lifted your spirits some as she talked about her family trip to Ireland and her desperate stalking of their Quidditch team. You listened as you poked at your food with a fork; you didn’t have much of an appetite, not with what you had to do later.

The Great Hall seemed to be louder than normal, and the first years ever more irritating. Many of the new girls were giggling about Sirius Black, a trouble making pretty boy who seemed to be the co-leader of his friends, a group of four known as the Marauders. You tried not to get mixed up with them. But since James (the apparent leader and best friend to Sirius) had a thing for Lily he was often around. They usually left you alone though, and found it decent to only prank you a couple of times. They weren’t all bad; Remus was a bookworm and the most responsible; you always wondered why he was with them. And Peter just tagged along, you felt sort of bad for the mousy boy actually.

After dinner the food disappeared causing you to stab the table with the fork, which promptly disappeared as well.

You heard Dumbledore speaking, but didn’t pay much attention to what he was saying. You stood with everyone else and started to head towards the portrait of the fat lady once the after dinner speech was over, but a stern hand on your shoulder stopped you.

Turning, you saw Professor McGonagall, one of the newer teachers at Hogwarts. She appeared to be in her thirties, and was a stern teacher but you had always been fond of her. She had gotten the position of Head of Gryffindor in your fourth year. “Miss Crill, your request to speak with the headmaster has been accepted. Please follow me.”

You did as you were told and followed the professor down a few corridors, feeling your nerves crescendo. 

She stopped in front of a gargoyle statue. You were confused, and looked up at her, a little nervous. Ignoring your gaze, she glanced around quickly and then said, “Chocolate éclairs,” to the gargoyle. 

You raised an eyebrow, thinking your head of house was crazy until the gargoyle leapt to the side to reveal a doorway. You stared for a minute, your mouth gaping open in a very unattractive way. Professor McGonagall opened the door and gestured you in without a word. 

You cautiously stepped over the threshold and started up the winding staircase.

* * *


	2. The Summer Story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is so old! Can you believe that this was first posted on HPFF in 2007? DANG! My writing has changed a lot.

**_Moonlit Nightmares_ **

Chapter II – The Summer Story

You reached the top of the stairs and took a deep breath. _Here goes…_ you thought and lifted your fist to knock but the door swung open before your knuckles could make contact. You stood there, your arm in the air and a startled expression on your face.

“I expected the meeting to be inside my office, but if you prefer my threshold we can arrange something.” Dumbledore said with a smile.

“Um, no…sorry, sir…” You muttered, turning a bit red and walking into the office. The door closed behind you with a slam, causing you to jump. No one could say you weren’t fidgety.

The office wasn’t very big. The walls were covered with portraits of the past headmasters and mistresses. Sitting about on bookcases and tables were various types of knick-knacks that whirled, whistled, sang, and puffed smoke. You walked up the small staircase to the platform where his desk sat; behind that stairs rose from either side of the room to another platform that led into an alcove filled with books and possibly his room.

“Have a seat, Miss Crill.” You obeyed. “Now, what is it you needed to see me about? Your letter was quite frantic.” He said.

You scratched your head nervously, remembering the scribble of a letter you wrote to him on the train. You had been trying to hide it from Lily. When she caught you, you made up a story about forgetting to pack socks, wrote faster, and then gave your owl very confusing instructions.

“Well um…this is really hard to say, sir…” You said, twisting your robes in your hands.

“It’s always best to just say it out right,” said Dumbledore.

You nodded and looked up at him, but you found it easier to stare at your knees. You let go of your robes and they fell back onto your legs, crinkled. “Something really…bad, happened this summer.” You started and paused.

“Yes?”

You were hoping he would already know. That he would stop you and say he’s known all along. You didn’t want to choke it out…

Your original fear of being kicked out of the school returned and your heart beat against your chest, so hard that you were sure anyone near could hear it. So many bad thoughts drifted through your mind as if on an endless movie reel.

Just spit it out and see what happens! your subconscious demanded. “Sir, I was bitten this summer.” you forced out quickly. Well if that didn’t sound stupid. Just bitten? For all he knew you could have been bitten by your cat.

Dumbledore leaned forwards; to your surprise he seemed interested. “By what, Miss Crill? I’m guessing it is not a normal bite or you would not be here in my office acting so nervous.”

“A…” you swallowed, “a werewolf.” You bit your lip, hard. You tasted a bit of blood in your mouth but ignored it.

Dumbledore leaned back and was silent. The silence pulled and yanked at your nerves until you finally looked up at him to find him smiling.

Smiling!

You were dumbstruck. Here you were, stressing out over whether you’ll be allowed to stay in the school or not and he’s smiling! Why was he smiling? Was he gonna take pleasure in kicking you out? “Miss Crill, I am well aware of your situation.”

Your mouth dropped open and you couldn’t manage to say anything coherent.

“Your mother sent me an owl explaining your situation before the start of term.” He explained, picking up the folded rice paper as proof.

“So…You’re not gonna kick me out?”

Dumbledore shook his head, laughing quietly. “Of course not. I have taught werewolves in the past and still do. I don’t plan to ever stop.”

You let out a sigh, feeling as if you’d been holding your breath the entire night. You felt totally relaxed suddenly, as if receiving an invisible massage. Then what he said triggered something in your brain. “Wait, do you mean you’re teaching someone else, right now, who is a werewolf…I mean, other than me?”

Dumbledore nodded. “Yes,” he thought for a moment, looking up to the ceiling, “and I want you to meet him. He can tell you what we do about full moons, since it’s a mutual topic.”

Your heart dropped so quickly you swore you could hear it splash into your stomach acids. You had pushed the full moon to the back of your mind as far as you could. It wasn’t a pleasant thought and it was one that constantly plagued you. “Who is it, sir?” Many names and faces were racing through your mind, trying to figure out who it could possibly be. A few people that acted beastly entered your mind, but you couldn’t think who it could be.

“Remus Lupin.” Dumbledore said, stopping your thoughts as if they had hit a brick wall. “It’s fortunate that he is in your house and year; quite the coincidence, yes?” He looked at you over his half-moon speckles, a twinkle in his eyes that confused you.

“Yea—er—yes, sir…” You frowned. Remus was part of the Marauders, the group that the girls had been drooling over. Sure, they usually left you alone and Remus never joined in the jokes. Lily liked him all right, but you had never really spoken to him. You were positive he at least helped plan their big pranks. Why else would he be friends with them, vice versa?

“Well, it has gotten a bit late, or else I would explain the procedure to you myself. But I think it’s time you returned to your house.”

You nodded and stood. “Thank you, sir.” You left, wondering how you were going to meet Remus and talk to him about this before the next full moon. It was only a few weeks away. Would you go to the infirmary? You definitely couldn’t stay in your dormitory. And then there was still Lily, she had no idea what was happening to you and you felt so…alone. Could Remus help you?

x - x - x


	3. Remus Lupin and the Infamous Marauders

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I totally have internet where I am on my trip but I totally forgot to post a chapter on Friday. I just haven’t been paying attention to what day it is!

**_Moonlit Nightmares_ **

Chapter III – Remus Lupin and the Infamous Marauders

“Where did you go last night?” Lily asked the next morning as the two of you got ready for the day. “I couldn’t find you.”

You lied quickly. “I had to go get my schedule fixed….It put me down for Divination twice.” You hoped she would buy it. 

Lily was the main target of the marauders due to James’ unhealthy crush—obsession—and she had gotten very good at reading people. Not to mention that she was already very intelligent. Therefore, it is very hard to lie around her.

But she bought into it. “Glad you got that fixed.” Guess it was just because it was morning. Even the Great Lily Evans was uncoordinated in the early morning. “Who would want that horrid class _twice_? I’m surprised you still take it.”

You just shrugged. It was an easy class to pass.

She pulled her bag over her shoulder and let out a large yawn as she fixed her hair one last time. “Let’s get some breakfast. We have morning potions to endure.”

x - x - x

It was now a week later and you still hadn’t spoken to Remus. 

Since you and Lily were late for breakfast, you had to take the seats only a little away from the marauder this morning. They didn’t take any notice of you to your surprise, but it had your thoughts fixed upon what you had to do.

You looked nonchalantly down the table at Remus. How were you going to get him alone? He was just about always with the other marauders, or if he wasn’t they were nearby.

Lily caught you staring and smirked. “So, finally fancy someone?”

“What?” you turned to her quickly, so quickly, in fact, that you almost head butted a first year next to you.

“So you fancy Remus?” Lily asked straight out, her smirk steadily growing into a grin that would grow into a squeal. 

You nearly knocked over your glass of orange juice in shock. “No!” Your cheeks flushed and you sat down your glass, knowing better than to take a drink.

Lily gasped. “You do!”

You sighed. Maybe you could use this to meet him? “…Yeah.” You said reluctantly.

Lily was beaming. “Good choice! He’s a sweetie without those _other_ boys.”

“Could you…um…help us meet? Alone?” you asked sheepishly, staring at your orange juice as if the pulp was doing a tap dance.

Lily thought for a few moments and then said, “I have Ancient Runes III with him before lunch.”

“That’s when I have Advanced Divination with the other Marauders.”

“Exactly. If you come early enough I can stop Remus before he goes to meet the others for lunch.” She smiled. “You can have the classroom to yourselves because Professor Clints leaves for lunch early.”

You nodded and promised to be there. This was your chance, and the butterflies in your stomach were more than just fluttering.

x - x - x

All through Divination you stared at your watch. Professor Lang was blind as a bat and couldn’t see you in the back anyway, so when it got to be five minutes before the bell you packed up your bag and crept out of the room, disturbing the sleeping Marauders. You feared they would rat you out, but you were down the trapdoor before a word could be said.

You leaned against the wall next to the Ancient Runes’ classroom door and waited on the bell. When it finally rang you watched the students pour out of the classroom, led by an eager Professor Clints.

“Remus, can I speak to you for a minute?” you heard Lily say.

“Um….Sure, Lily,” came Remus’s reply.

You pushed off the wall and walked into the classroom, your stomach flipping and flopping all over the place. Remus looked up at you confused and then looked back at Lily.

“Actually, Lacelin needs to talk to you, not me.” Lily pulled you into the spot she’d just been standing in and headed for the door, a grin placed on her pretty face. “See you at lunch.”

Once Lily left, you said, “Remus, I need to tell you something….” You knew what it sounded like, and so did he. You could see him brace himself to reject you.

“Yes?” he asked, nervous.

“Dumbledore wanted me to meet you.” He relaxed, and then suddenly tensed again. “We have something very…serious in common.” He began to wring your hands from nerves.

Now he was looking worried. “What would that be?” he asked as calmly as possible.

You took a deep breath. It was better to just blurt it out than stutter and trip over words, wasting time. “We’re both werewolves.” You said quickly and got the sudden fear that he wasn’t really a werewolf. That Dumbledore mixed up the names, or…or you heard him wrong.

“Is this some kind of joke?” Remus asked darkly, seeming to suddenly shrink away from you in coldness.

You were a bit angry that he thought you would _joke_ , especially about something like this. You sighed and pushed your anger down, replying calmly, “Why would I joke about such a thing?”

Remus nodded, seeming to realize that it wasn’t something to get a laugh out of. How would you have found out he was a werewolf otherwise if Dumbledore hadn’t told you? “So…” he still seemed to be a bit disbelieving. “When did this happen?”

“Over the summer.” You muttered. “Dumbledore said you could tell me what to do about the full moon.” You said, calming down.

“Let’s meet somewhere else.” He said. “The library tonight at 9:30? Nobody’ll be around.”

You nodded. “All right.”

Remus was quiet a moment and then said, “Just curious…but how many people know you’re a werewolf?”

“Just you, Dumbledore, and my family.” You blinked, a little confused as to why he asked.

“Not Lily?”

“Right.” You looked down, feeling a little ashamed that you hadn’t told your best friend.

“It’d be best to tell her. It’s important to have a friend,” he said and you could tell he was speaking from experience.

You blinked up at him to find him smiling some, with sympathy, and nodded.

“I have to go. James, Sirius, and Peter will be wondering where I am.”

“All right.”

“9:30?” he asked for confirmation.

“Yup.” you replied casually.

Remus left, waving.

You leaned against a desk and sighed. A great weight had been lifted from your shoulders and another put on. You had to tell Lily about this before the whole ‘I fancy Remus’ thing got out of hand. And could you trust Remus to keep this important secret from the Marauders?

x - x - x


	4. The Library Meeting

**_Moonlit Nightmares_ **

Chapter IV – The Library Meeting

“Well, what happened?” Lily asked as you sat down for lunch about fifteen minutes later.

“Um…not much.” You said. “But we’re meeting in the library tonight.” You feigned girlish excitement.

Lily had no need to feign anything. “Lacey! I’m so happy for you!” She flung herself on you, hugging you. You laughed sheepishly and scratched your head.

“Why are we happy?” Jodie asked, sitting next to Lily.

“I think Lacey might finally get a boyfriend!”

Lily and Jodie engaged in a girly conversation. You ignored Jodie’s strange and sudden out-of-character behavior and ate lunch quickly, soon heading out on the grounds for a break. Upon seeing the Marauders however, you turned and quickly fled to the common room to start on homework. You didn’t want to run into them. What if Remus had told them about what happened? You hoped not, because that would mean he told them you were a werewolf. 

You sat down in front of a piece of parchment and fumbled for an ink pot. Did they even know he was a werewolf? It could explain their friendship more. But it didn’t seem likely to you. The Marauders seemed more likely to ridicule a werewolf rather than care for it. It was a mystery, and it most likely would remain that way. You didn’t really see yourself being friends with Remus, even though Lily was right, he was sweet. And you had to admit that he _was_ cute…. 

-~-

You arrived very early for your rendezvous with Remus, so you gathered some books and finished up a potions report. After a bit, you looked down at your watch.

9:30.

He hadn’t shown yet. So you worked on other homework. It was all right to be late, and this was a good chance for you to finish your work.

9:40.

He was ten minutes late. That’s understandable, right? All your homework was almost done by now and you were getting skeptical. Should you leave?

9:50.

Ten minutes before curfew. Your homework was done and Ms. Pince was starting to watch you curiously, so you went and checked out a book on phoenixes. You sat down and read it, but found that you couldn’t pay attention. Your foot tapped the ground nervously.

9:55.

You sighed and gave in. He definitely wasn’t coming. You gathered your things and headed back towards the common room. Maybe something came up.

 _Yeah, like a very important prank…._ you thought bitterly and then mentally slapped yourself for it. Remus probably had a good reason for not coming. He could have just easily forgotten. That didn’t make you feel better, but it was better than thinking you were being ditched for a prank.

Lily looked up eagerly when you walked into the common room. Jodie had gone on to bed, but Lily was faithful…or just nosy. “Well…how did it go?” she asked.

“He…he didn’t come.” You said and bit your lip, looking away. You could act when you needed to.

Lily drooped. “Lacey….” 

“I’m just gonna go to bed.” You smiled a hurt smile, and headed up the stairs. You didn’t like Lily thinking you were heartbroken, but it would just have to do until you finally told her the truth….

-~-

The next day you got up before Lily and skipped breakfast. You instead went out by the lake and sat down under a tree, hoping you were hidden from view. Lily would be all sympathetic and huggy today, and you didn’t even need it. You sighed, realizing you would have to tell her that night.

You pulled a novel from your bag ( _Fire Arrow_ by Edith Pattou), opened to your marked place and began to read. You were able to concentrate on your book today; so this explained why you didn’t hear footsteps coming up from behind.

“Lacelin?”

You jumped, dropping your book, and looked up to see Remus looking down at you, a bit startled by your reaction. You sighed and looked at your book. “Crap, lost my place….” you muttered and picked up the book, nervously flipping through the pages.

Remus kneeled down next to you. “I’m sorry about not showing up last night.” He began to wring his hands some. “I couldn’t get away from James and Sirius….”

“It’s okay, Remus.” You found the page you had been on and marked your place, then looked up at him.

“We could talk now, if you want?”

You shrugged, “Sure.”

Remus sat cross legged and ran a hand through his sandy hair, pushing it back. “What did you need to know?”

“What am I supposed to do about the full moons?” you asked.

Remus nodded. “You know the Shrieking Shack, right? Well….” He began to explain to you about everything. The Shrieking Shack was actually built just for Hogwarts werewolves to hide in during the full moon and be away from people. You stayed in there all day before the full moon and went back to the castle early the next morning, were you would be allowed to miss that day of school if it was a weekday.

You smiled some, relieved to know you wouldn’t be seen. “Thanks a lot.” You felt much better now that you knew what to do.

“It might be wise if we locked ourselves in separate rooms.” Remus said. “Werewolves probably fight and…other reasons.” He turned a little pink.

You laughed, blushing some as well. “That’s a good idea.”

Silence fell over the two of you and you just stared out at the lake. One thing checked, now for another.

“Have you told Lily?” Remus asked ironically.

You shook your head. “I plan to tonight if I get the chance.” You bit your lip.

“Lily is understanding, I don’t think she’ll stop being your friend.” Remus said and smiled to comfort you.

You smiled at him. Scratch not being friends with him! He was a lot nicer than you thought he was going to be about this. “You know…when you didn’t show up for our first meeting, I thought it was because you thought I was crazy and just told me we’d meet so you could get away.” You smiled sheepishly.

He laughed. “Of course not. You did catch me off guard, I was shocked all afternoon.”

“Sorry.” You said, but grinned. “I think I knew what you _thought_ I was going to ask.”

“What’s that?” Remus blinked at you.

“You thought I was going to ask you out, right?”

Remus turned pink again, and so had you. “Well…yes.” He answered slowly. “It was the way you acted.”

“I could tell you were ready to reject me.” You said and smiled, though for some reason you couldn’t smile fully. The fact that he was going to reject you seemed to strike something in your heart.

Remus opened his mouth to say something, but seemed to change his mind. “I need to get going, Lacey….” He stood up, seeming to be very flushed. “I have to find James and Sirius. Talk to you later?” Without waiting for a response he rushed off towards the castle.

You blinked, confused and wondered what that was all about. Shrugging it off, you grabbed your things and headed towards the castle.

x - x - x


	5. Quidditch

**_Moonlit Nightmares_ **

Chapter V – Quidditch

Your predictions about Lily’s behavior proved correct when you arrived a little late for morning potions. Reluctantly, you took your normal seat next to her after apologizing to the professor. As soon as bottom met wood Lily had her arms around you in a hug. Luckily, she didn’t say anything.

You told her you needed to talk to her later on your way to your next class, but not then. She agreed, but you knew that you were both thinking different things. She probably thought you wanted to talk about your nonexistent relationship problems with Remus. What a shock she was going to get.

Later seemed to keep getting postponed. At lunch, Lily was reported to be in the library, slaving away on Ancient Runes homework. You knew she wouldn’t listen to you well now, not when work was needed to be done. She was working during break as well, so you were left alone.

You walked the shore of the lake, balancing you book in one hand as you used the other to hold your messenger bag firmly on your shoulder. You were lost deeply into the adventures of Breo-Saight as she searched for her father’s killers. So deep, that you didn’t hear Jodie come up behind you.

“LACELIN!” She screamed and you fumbled your book, dropping it and nearly losing it to the giant squid. You were frozen, crouched in an odd position, the book loosely held between your hands. Slowly, you repositioned your hands to grab a hold of it firmly and stood up, hugging it to your chest. 

“Jodie, you nearly made me lose my book.” you said, turning slowly to face her.

She was grinning widely, as if proud of her accomplishment. “You read way too much anyways, which is _why_ I’m here!”

You raised an eyebrow at her. “Why you’re here? What are you talking about?”

“Harris has gotten himself injured; something about falling out of a tree and shattering his leg. His mother blames it on Quidditch so he’s out of the game. Well, that leaves us with only one beater and we need two beaters or we’re not a complete team!” She said quickly, still grinning.

You had backed up away from her some, as though blown back. “Sorry to hear about that, but what does that have to do with my reading and I?”

“’My reading and I’,” Jodie repeated, laughing. “Anyway, I want YOU to go out for Quidditch!”

“What!” You nearly dropped your book again, so you put it into your messenger bag where it would be safe. “Jodie you know very well that I can’t play on a Quidditch team!”

“Yes you can! Being a beater is not that hard, and it’s not one of the best positions so people don’t pay as much attention to you.” She explained. “Remember when you, Lily, and I all used to play three-on-three Quidditch during Christmas break? You played a good beater then.”

“But then we weren’t playing proper Quidditch, and the only person I was playing against who had ever played a proper game was _you_.”

Jodie just grinned, as if none of what you had said got through to her. “Uh, so?”

“Jodie!” you whined.

“Lacelin!” she whined back. “C’mon, try out. Give it a shot. What do you have to lose? Please?” she pulled one of the most pitiful begging faces you had ever seen. 

Sighing, you nodded. “I’ll try out but I swear I won’t get it.”

“Hurrah!” She exclaimed and turned from you, looking over her shoulder. “Try-outs are scheduled for September 28th. See you then!” She then ran off towards the pitch.

Sighing, you sat down on the bank and stared out into the water. There was no harm in trying out, right? It’s not like you were really going to get the position, there was certainly another Gryffindor more suited for the job that would get it.

Then something hit you. September 28th was the day after the full moon! You were gonna be completely exhausted. Another sigh escaped your lips and you fell over backwards. This was wonderful, just peachy.

x - x - x

That night you sat in one of the large armchairs in the common room, your book open on your lap. You had been reading for around two hours, waiting for Lily to come in. It was no problem, you had reached the near end of the book and things were getting very interesting in Breo-Saight’s journey.

Finally, the portrait hole opened and Lily walked in, looking exhausted and holding many books with her pot of ink. She sat it all down on the floor and flopped onto the couch, taking a few minutes to catch her breath.

You finished the page you were on and closed your book, looking up at her. “Are you okay, Lily?”

“Yes, I’m all right. Just a little tired from all of that homework.” She sat up and looked at you. Suddenly, she looked surprised. “Oh my gods, Lacey! I totally forgot you wanted to talk to me today!”

“It’s all right, we can talk tomorrow.” You said and smiled at her. As much as you wanted to get this talk over with, postponing seemed like a great idea to you, even though the anxiety would probably kill you.

Lily shook her head rapidly, her flaming locks falling over into her face. She pushed them out of the way and sat at the end of the couch closest to you. “No, we’re gonna talk now. Tell me what’s wrong. Is it Remus?”

“No, not really. It’s something much…bigger.” You said slowly. Oh dear, this was gonna be even harder than telling Dumbledore _and_ Remus put together. 

Lily looked concerned, and also curious. “What is it?”

Taking a deep breath, you let it all out. “Lily, I’m a werewolf.” No stuttering, no high pitched voice; maybe you had gotten better at telling the tale.

Lily was sitting there, her eyes wide and her mouth agape. “No, you’re joking with me!”

You shook her head and sighed. “It happened around mid-summer…I was staying at my aunt’s house in the mountains. It’s very beautiful up there, completely surrounded my forest. Well, my brother and I decided we wanted to explore the woods at night. It was a full moon, and the light was so bright outside we thought it a perfect chance to go exploring. Unfortunately, we had forgotten my aunt’s strict warnings about werewolves. I was separated from him and chased down.” You cut off and took a deep breath to calm yourself. The memories of that night were playing crystal clear through your mind. Lily was looking horror stricken and near tears. “My brother was okay, he had run back to the house. But they found me in the morning….” Slowly, you lifted your shirt to your rib cage to show a horrid, blue, black, and red scar on your right side. It was a sickening sight, and caused Lily’s tears to overflow.

Her arms were suddenly around your neck and she was crying into your long black hair. You bit your lip to keep from crying yourself until you realized—this would have been the first time you actually cried about the incident. Before, you had been too horrified to cry. So you stopped holding back and just let yourself cry. 

Soon, Lily pulled back and tried to smile at you. “Dumbledore knows, doesn’t he?”

You nodded. “He’s already told me what to do. I’ll be staying in the Shrieking Shack for the full moons.”

Lily nodded, using her sleeve to wipe away her tears. “At least Dumbledore is helping you. He’s such a good man.”

“Yeah.” You said, suddenly finding it very hard to believe that Lily was taking this the way she was. “Lily…you don’t think I’m a monster?”

Lily blinked at you. “What? Of course not, Lacelin! I’ve known you all my life! Just because you’re a werewolf now doesn’t mean _you_ have changed!”

You smiled; you felt so much better hearing her say that. “I’m so glad.” That didn’t even begin to express how grateful and relieved you really felt.

Lily grinned back at you. “C’mon, let’s get some sleep.” You nodded in agreement and followed her up to the girls’ dorm. She had taken the sudden news extremely well, almost too well. You couldn’t help but feel paranoid and think, _Has the real shock even hit her yet?_

x - x - x


	6. Of Eavesdropping and Oncoming Moons

**_Moonlit Nightmares_ **

Chapter VI – Of Eavesdropping and Oncoming Moons

Things seemed to be so much better after you told Lily your secret. You also seemed to get a lot closer as friends. She spent less of her time with the popular girls of the school and turned to you more often. As much as you loved her being around, you wondered if this was just Lily in pity mode.

Either way, it benefited you in two ways—your mood and your studies. You were used to being alone most of the time which harvests negative feelings, but now that you were around the uplifting redhead your feelings were more on the positive side. But she also kept you on your studies more than you were before. You were a good student, but were so easily distracted by your fantasy novels that you’d rather read them other than your textbooks. 

Your relationship with Remus was at a stand still. Often the two of you would greet each other, but that was it. You never held a conversation longer than three minutes. The other marauders seemed to suddenly take notice of you as well. Had Remus told them, or were they curious as to why Remus would suddenly talk to someone like you?

You got your answer one Thursday night. The next Tuesday was the full moon and already you were starting to feel the effects. You were easily fatigued, and slept hours more than normal. But unfortunately, that night you had a lot of homework in your classes and were stuck in the library all day, slaving away.

It was ten minutes till curfew and you were scrambling to finish your homework before Madame Pince kicked you out. Forgetting all about neat handwriting and sentence structure, you scribbled down notes and excerpts from the books you had open on the table in front of you. On the hour, Madame Pince made her way over to your table. Slamming the books shut and throwing your stuff quickly into your bag, you made a beeline for the door. You had never liked Madame Pince, and she had seemed to never like you. So you avoided speaking with her every chance you could.

You jogged until you got far enough away and then stopped, leaning against the wall to catch your breath. Nonchalantly, you looked up and down the halls for any sign of professors or students. Once you were sure no one was coming, you took a few deep breaths and then started to head towards your common room, but stopped when you heard voices on the other side of the wall. You were standing in the right fork of the hallway, the left went down to the kitchens and the main hall went to the staircases. Backing up against the wall, you listened as the voices continued to speak.

“You have to tell her eventually.” You heard a familiar voice say.

“But then she’ll know I told you three, and it’s not like she’ll be able to tell, you know…and we’ll be in different rooms.” You knew this voice all too well, it was Remus! Then the others talking must be Sirius, James, and Peter. You quietly inched along the wall near the entrance to the hall so that you could hear better.

“But what if she does?” One of the boys, either Sirius or James, asked. “We could get into some serious trouble if she tells a professor.”

“And me telling her out straight will keep you from getting into trouble?” Remus questioned skeptically. “Since when do you care about getting into trouble anyway, James?”

There was silence, only broken by the sound of Peter’s wheezing, letting you know that they were still there. Poor boy, he was always made fun of for the way he breathed. You guessed he had asthma. 

Finally, one boy sighed. “We want her to know we’re there for her as we are for you, Moony.”

 _Moony?_ You blinked, wondering where that came from. Oh! It must be a nickname….

“What for?” Remus asked and you felt a little stab in your stomach. “You’ve played pranks on her or either ignored her existence. What’s with the sudden pity?”

“Don’t get so defensive, Remus!” James said in joking tone. “We can’t show compassion?”

“You’re gonna try to use her to get to Lily, right?” Remus asked. You wondered why he was suddenly so venomous towards his _best_ friends, but you also wanted to know why the Marauders would care about your well being even if you were a—

Suddenly you stopped. You stared straight ahead, completely tuning out what the marauders were saying. Remus had told them. He had told them that you were a werewolf! 

You looked down, your eyes shadowed by your hair. How could he? What if they had told other people? What if they started to ridicule you for it? You thought you could trust Remus to keep such a secret seeing as he had the same problem to deal with! But you guessed they knew he was a werewolf as well.

Forgetting all about them being there, you stood there, drowning in your thoughts and trying to straighten out your feelings. You no longer cared why they pitied you or what they could have been hiding. 

Unfortunately, this kept you tuned out from the rest of the world as well, and you didn’t notice Professor Clints walking down the hall. When he caught sight of you, he quickened his pace.

“Miss Crill, what are you doing out of your House after curfew?” he questioned, stopping in front of you and crossing his arms.

Your eyes widened some and you jerked your head up to look at him. Pushing yourself off the wall you scrambled to gather your wits and stuttered, “I—er—I was late getting out the library, sir.” You replied quietly.

“Then why are you stopped here in the hall?” he asked, not sounding like he really wanted to know. “Obviously waiting for some boy to come along.” 

You shook your head. “No, sir! I just got tired and leaned against the wall for a moment to—”

“Lies.” The professor rudely interrupted. His head snapped to the corner of the point of the three halls. In a split second, he had stepped forwards and latched onto something down the hall. He drug out Sirius by the arm and narrowed his eyes. “And what are you doing here, Black?” Clintz leaned over to look down the hall. “Potter, Pettigrew, and…Lupin? I’m ashamed.” Taking a deep breath to calm himself (he was acting very dramatic), the professor pointed down the hall with his free hand. “Get to your houses. I’ll see,” he paused and his eyes ran over all of the students standing there, “the five of you in detention. You’ll be cleaning the trophies from after dinner to curfew!”

Exasperated sighs escaped Sirius and James, but you only nodded and quickly headed down the hall, not wanting to be questioned by the Marauders as well.

But you only were able to make to the top of one staircase before Sirius and James came up beside you, handsome smiles on their faces. “Lacelin!” they sang.

Cursing under your breath you stopped, looking down at your shoes. “Hello Sirius…James.”

“Never thought I would see you getting in trouble.” Sirius said.

“And with us, no doubt.” James added on. 

Remus and Peter walked up the steps behind you. Remus was watching Sirius and James with a warning expression, but didn’t say a word.

“I really was late getting out of the library.” You replied, looking around at the four boys. You hated the feeling of being surrounded.

“Then why were you eavesdropping on us, hm?” Sirius replied, his arm slipping around your shoulders as he gave you a sly smirk. You shied away from him, tensing at his touch that most girls fought over. At one point, you would have loved it too, but not now.

“I-I wasn’t eavesdropping!” you defended, a faint blush staining your cheeks.

“Oh really? You can’t lie to us,” James said, “We’re the masters of lying, we can tell one when we hear it.”

You fidgeted some, playing with the strap on your bag. He was right—apparently you were caught. But what could you say? You didn’t know, so you just kept quiet.

Sirius opened his mouth to say something, but Remus interjected with a sharp, “Don’t.” He backed off and simply gave you one of his famous, charming smiles. “So, you’re going out for Quidditch?”

You blinked, surprised but glad for the change of subject even if it was sudden. “How-how did you know that?”

Sirius steered you towards the Gryffindor Common room, walking slowly so that you could talk. You hadn’t even realized that you were walking again.

“Well, Jodie is very loud and has to tell us everything.” James replied, but you didn’t look at him. Your gaze was locked with Sirius’.

“Beater, hm?” Sirius seemed to study you for a moment, and then said, “Yes, I could see you as beater.”

“You could?” You couldn’t help but feel a little warm at his compliment.

“I mean, ol’ Harris was excellent, but you could be a decent replacement.”

“Stop flirting with her.” Remus said from behind you. 

You tore your gaze away from Sirius and looked over your shoulder at Remus. He was following you, his gaze downcast to the floor. You weren’t able to see his eyes because of his shaggy brown hair, but you guessed he was glaring. Why was he so tense? He had been acting strange ever since you told him you were also a werewolf.

“Ignore him.” Sirius said, bringing your attention back to his face. “But do try out. I think you’ll make it.” By now you had reached the portrait and James spoke the password. All five of you walked into the common room and stopped.

“You have me and Sirius’ vote, anyway.” James grinned at you.

You felt something slip into your hand as Sirius took his arm from around you. “Nice talking to you, Lacelin.” He said and swung around to Remus, taking his buddy by the shoulder. “C’mon, Remus! Don’t look so dark!” He laughed and the four headed up the stairs, Sirius basically dragging Remus.

It wasn’t until they were gone that you looked down at what was in your hand. It was a piece of rice colored paper, folded neatly with the words “For Lacelin” scrawled on it, taking away from the organized look.

“Lacelin?”

You nearly jumped out of your skin and immediately shoved the paper into your pocket. Looking up you noticed that Lily was sitting in your usual armchair, her homework laid out on her lap. Her expression was of curiosity and confusion. “What was that about?”

You stared back at her. “I have no idea…but I’m going to go to bed. G’night, Lily!” You headed up the dorm steps and threw your bag against the foot of your bed. Forgetting all about your unfinished homework and the detention you had received, you pulled out the folded note and flopped on your bed, carefully unfolding it.

It was blank.

Confused and a little disappointed you turned it over, only to see you name upside down. Was this a joke? You set the paper down on your bed and went to your bag to get your homework, when you came back, writing had begun to appear across the paper, causing you to gasp and drop you book on your toe.

_Mr. Padfoot wishes Miss Crill a good evening._

_Mr. Prongs compliments her on her attire—her uniform is cleaner than all the rest._

_Mr. Wormtail wishes Mr. Padfoot and Mr. Prongs would shut up and hurry this along._

_Mr. Padfoot wishes Mr. Wormtail would shove it._

_Mr. Prongs agrees._

Your eyes widened as you watched the text scroll across and down the paper. Of course you knew this could be done, but who _were_ these people and how did they know you?

_Mr. Padfoot offers his apologies to Miss Crill._

_Mr. Prongs requests that Mr. Wormtail keep his mouth—or pen—shut. Get to the point._

_Mr. Padfoot would like to tell Miss Crill of three animals who will be there on the night of the 27th._

_Mr. Prongs doesn’t want Miss Crill to be alarmed, but we all know each other._

You stared as the note folded itself up and laid silent on the bed. You were almost afraid to touch it. Slowly, you reached out your hand and with quick movement, grabbed the corner and threw it into your nightstand’s drawer. You flopped over on your bed and stared up at the ceiling in thought. Who were they? Animals? What was going to happen on the full moon and how did they know you were a werewolf? After a few minutes you thought you had figured out who they were.

Footsteps sounded, interrupting your investigation, and you immediately jumped into bed, pretending to sleep before Lily could enter the room.

x - x – x


	7. Moons and Bludgers

**_Moonlit Nightmares_ **

Chapter VII – Moons and Bludgers

Tuesday morning you packed your books in your satchel like normal and pulled on your sweater. You pulled the bag’s strap over your shoulder and started quietly down the stairs. Waiting for you in the common room like a gentleman was Remus. He also had his bag and was looking very solemn. Today you noticed how strained he really looked. His eyes already held the luggage of little sleep, small scars littered his face (and you guessed those weren’t the only ones), and already a few gray strands of hair had shown in his locks. Your heart fell to know that you were also doomed to the same appearance that would make people question and wonder.

“Ready?” he asked.

“No.” you replied truthfully and you both frowned. You could tell just by looking at Remus that he was concerned. He had been changing into a werewolf for years and he still wasn’t used to it. This was only going to be your third time.

Remus picked up his bag and, with a final look at you, headed out of the common room. The castle was quiet and cold. Not a single soul seemed to be awake, not even Filch was prowling around.

You left the castle and were engulfed by a giant cloud of fog. You were sure that you were on the grounds near the Whomping Willow, but uncertain where to go. Remus, however, did seem to know. He walked on carefully, constantly watching both his feet and the path ahead of him.

Out of the fog a little orange, flickering glow appeared. For a moment you merely wondered what it was, but then a fear of it birthed in your stomach, making your heart pound against your ribs. Remus stopped and you immediately stepped behind him for protection.

“Madame Fix?” he asked.

“There you are, Mr. Lupin. I’ve been waiting for a while.” A Scottish voice answered. “Is Miss Crill with you?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

The little blurry ball of light grew larger with each footstep you heard until finally you could see the face of the young school nurse. Her brown hair was pulled into a tight bun atop her head and her grey eyes were covered by a thin pair of lenses. She was tall and bony with pale skin. She held a small silver tray with a candle burning weakly in her left hand. Her right hand held a wand.

“Dawn is coming. Hurry now.” She turned and began to shuffle away. Remus followed her without question, but you were more hesitant. _The nurse knows too?_

The quiet of the morning was broken by the sudden, startling sounds of something large slamming the ground.

“Step back!” Madame Fix called out and Remus stopped, holding his arm out to stop you.

Again you were afraid. You looked up to Remus for some reassurance.

“It’s just the Whomping Willow.” He explained simply and you nodded.

Madame Fix’s voice rang out again and then a sharp flash of light. All sounds stopped at once. “Hurry along!” her voice came again, this time more clearly.

Remus started forwards and you followed. You hated the feeling of being lost and confused. 

The fog cleared some around the tree as you approached and you were able to tell that the limbs of the tree were frozen. One particularly large limb had been crashing towards the very spot you and Remus had been standing. While you gazed up, amazed, Remus stepped forwards and ducked into a well hidden hole beneath the trunk.

“Hurry, Lacelin.” You heard his voice come from the darkness.

You climbed down slowly into the hole, but slipped and slid the rest of the way down. It was a good thing that you wore old, unwanted clothes, because that slope was muddy. Feeling more miserable by the moment you attempted to look about you, but the tunnel was pitch black.

“Remus?” you asked and reached out, afraid that he had left you. But he hadn’t. His hand caught yours and immediately little sparks jumped up your arm and sent a chill down your spine.

“Watch your step. This tunnel is rough,” he said and you nodded in response, even thought he couldn’t see you.

Remus didn’t let go of your hand, but instead led you along the way, warning you of upcoming pitfalls and other obstacles. A small smile graced your lips when you thought about how he was taking care of you, but all you could really focus on was his hand in yours.

After a good walk he stopped and let go of your hand. Your stomach seemed to sink when he let go, but only for a moment.

The sound of creaking hinges met your ears and soon a blinding light met your eyes. You immediately shielded your face until you thought you could handle to look.

Remus was pulling himself up through a square opening at the roof of the tunnel. Once he was through he turned around and held his hand out to you.

With his help, you were able to get up into what appeared to be an old, rickety building. The paint was chipping, the wood creaked when weight was put upon it, and the stairs were unsafe and falling apart. The entire building seemed to lean in the wind. The sun was coming up and shining through the grimy windows by now.

“Come on.” Remus caught your attention and started carefully up the stairs with you following. He led you down a hall and pointed to a room at the end. “That’s the second bedroom. When it gets close to the moon you should go in there. But until then, you’re welcome to stay with me.” He smiled slightly.

You smiled a bit as well and nodded. “I think I will.”

Remus opened the door to the room you stood in front of and walked inside. You were surprised, but also not, at the condition of the room. The walls and floors were ripped as if by claws, a three legged bed had ripped sheets atop the torn mattress and the window was sealed with boards.

Remus set his bag on the window seat and sat down and you did the same.

“Now what?” you asked.

“We wait,” Remus said, “and work on today’s assignments.”

“Oh, that’s really what I want to think about.” You grumbled and opened your bag.

How ironic that it was the day to learn cheering charms. You and Remus saved that lesson for last for obvious reasons. The day seemed to go by fast and soon you were heading into your own room, the effects of the cheering charm quickly fading away.

You sat on the window sill and gazed up at the sky. Darkness fell quickly and the clouds rolled away, showing the full moon. Chills ran icy cold down your spine and your stomach clenched up. Your heart began to pound quickly and painfully against your ribcage.

You stood in hopes that straightening your body would ease the pain, but it did nothing. You grasped your head and fell to your knees as pain coursed through every part of you. Your muscles quivered and jerked, beginning to mutate and grow bigger. Your bones cramped up as they seemed to break and grow back in the wrong places. You covered your eyes, as if shielding your vision would hide the pain away, but it did no such good. Your nose and chin began to extend into a snout and hair began to grow were it normally would not. You slammed your hands, now changing into claws, against the wood floor and watched your vision go from color to black and white. Your clothes tore with your body’s growing structure and finally you felt your consciousness fade away as the wolf took full control.

x - x - x

Your body ached all over. Sweat covered you from head to toe and froze onto you in the chilly, morning air. You breathed heavily trying to catch your breath, but each intake was painful to your bruised ribs. Your body was too fragile to take the labors of converting and then converting back, so they left painful after effects that other werewolves no longer received. The pain was so immense you wondered if you would ever be able to get up again. Just as you had done on your previous moons, you cried from the pain. It felt better for you to just weep, to let it all out. You hadn’t expected anyone to be there to see you.

“Lacelin? Can you hear me?”

If you could have looked up you would have. Instead, you whispered a reply to the familiar voice.

“Her body still isn’t used to the stress changing into a werewolf has.” You heard Remus say weakly.

“Should we take her to the infirmary?” That was James, so the other boy speaking must have been Sirius.

There must have been a silent reply, because Sirius bent down and gently lifted you off the ground. Almost instantly you feigned unconsciousness; you were too embarrassed and afraid of being spoken to.

“She passed out?”

“Appears so.”

“Peter, get her bag.”

“So much for her Quidditch tryout.”

 _Oh no… I forgot about tryouts!_ You thought and opened your eyes, only to see Sirius’ silky hair in your face. He was carrying you on his back through the tunnel.

“Don’t,” you paused to clear your throat of the hoarseness, “Don’t take me to the nurse.”

“Ah, so you are awake.” Sirius said. “But you need to see Madame Fix.”

“No, no I don’t.” you said, attempting to sound better than you looked. “I’ve been able to handle this on my own before.”

“Remus?”

“Take her to the common room.”

You were glad for that. Why would you suddenly show up in the infirmary? It could make someone suspicious. Plus, you promised Jodie you would be at that tryout. For the rest of the day you laid in your bed. Every once in a while Lily would visit and at lunch she brought you food. The tryouts were an hour before dinner. By then, you were able to move fairly well so you fixed yourself up, retrieved your broom (a simple cleansweep) and headed for the pitch.

There weren’t many people there; a few hopeful first years, a few people who hadn’t made it in the beginning of the year tryouts, and a few spectators (including the marauders). Other than Sirius and James, Jodie was the only actual team member there. When you approached she waved and smiled.

“Okay! Thanks for coming out!” she welcomed. “Everyone here is trying out for the position of beater. First, I’ll want to see how well you fly. After that, we’re gonna release some bewitched bludgers and test your dodging and batting skills.”

Your flying was decent, not as good as normal, but your dodging was superb. You were knocked to the ground once and missed a few hits, but overall you did well. That wasn’t enough to make you think you were going to get the position, however. A few of the rejected from the start of term had obviously been practicing for their next chance, impressing Jodie. It didn’t help that Sirius and James would cheer obnoxiously at your every move and embarrass you.

As you walked towards the common room from the broom closet the prospect of sleep caused you to smile. You planned to head straight to your bed for a nap before dinner.

But when you entered the common room you’re attention was distracted by a group of people huddling around an armchair, all talking excitedly.

* * *


	8. Angelique Kincade

**_Moonlit Nightmares_ **

**Chapter VIII – Angelique Kincade**

Curiosity got the best of you as you made your way over to the crowd. You timidly squeezed your way to the center and were a little surprised to see Lily sitting next to a girl wearing brand new Gryffindor robes. You successfully deducted that she was new.

And you now understood why the majority of the crowd was boys. The girl sitting in front of you was pretty, very pretty, you admitted. She had long, sun bleached blonde hair and piercing blue eyes. She was tall and thin, reminding you of an American doll. Her smile was one of movies and she didn’t mind sparing you one.

“Lacelin!” Lily grinned at you and motioned for you to sit next to her. Silently, you obeyed. “I want you to meet Angelique Kincade. She just transferred here from Beauxbatons.”

You smiled at her, though it was a tired one. “Nice to meet you, I’m Lace--”

“I ‘eard ‘er.” Angelique replied. “Lacelin? Interesting name.”

You frowned a little and quickly replaced it with a forced smile. “I guess so.”

“I’ve never been to ‘ogwarts.” Her accent was thick, but you gave her props for having such good English. “It’s so…drab.”

Lily laughed, but it sounded nervous to your ears. “Well, Hogwarts is older than Beauxbatons.”

“I don’t think that’s it.” Angelique said with a wrinkle of her nose as she surveyed the walls around her.

“Um, Lily….” You tugged at her sleeve. “I’m going to bed. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“You’re leaving?” Angelique asked, her eyebrows arching gracefully.

“I’ve had a long day.” You said with a wane smile. “Good night.” You got up from your seat and stumbled your way back through the crowd.

“Good night, Lacelinen!” you heard Miss Kincade say over the crowd’s low hum. You cringed a little, but ignored it and headed up the stairs.

x – x – x 

The next morning you were annoyed to find Angelique sitting with Lily, talking animatedly about something or another that honestly, you didn’t care about. You sat next to Jodie, who was across from them, and began to put food on your plate. Jodie seemed a little put out that Lily wasn’t talking to her, so you decided to make conversation.

“How’s the tryout decisions coming?” you asked casually, even though you really were anxious to know.

Jodie looked at you, smiling. “We’re going to make the final decision tonight. So it should be posted tomorrow morning.” She then winked at you. “You have some guys on the team really rooting for you though!”

You blushed some. “W-who?”

Jodie looked around and then whispered, “James and Sirius. Of course, I am too but I can’t admit that because I’m captain.”

“Jodie, you just admitted it,” you whispered, smiling at her.

She blinked. “Oh hopscotch!” She swiped her fist towards the table lightly in an ‘Oh shoot!’ type movement, but accidently made an uppercut to the scrambled eggs on her plate. The food splattered, hitting her, yourself and, to your horror and humor, Angelique.

She let out a short, high pitched scream and jumped up. But at that time Remus had been walking by and she collided with him, both toppling to the floor. The Great Hall began to quiet as people turned to look.

“Let’s go!” Jodie hissed to you as she hopped over the bench, grabbed your arm, and ran towards the door.

You almost fell climbing over the bench at such a pace but caught your balance and ran after her. She didn’t stop until you reached the girls’ lavatories. You hid behind the sinks where you sank to the floor and began to laugh.

“I didn’t mean to do that but it was so funny!” Jodie said and you laughed more.

“This is bad, but I don’t like her.” you admitted.

“Me either.” Jodie grinned.

The sound of the door opening caused you two to immediately clamp your hands over your mouths.

“I can’t believe ‘er!” the undeniable French accent echoed in the bathroom. “That was very rude and on purpose!”

“I’m sure she didn’t mean it,” Lily said softly. “Jodie can be a little clumsy sometimes. She didn’t know you’d run into Remus, either.”

The sink was turned on; you guessed she was going to clean the egg off her face. “Who iz that Remus?”

“He’s in our year.” Lily explained. “He’s smart and a nice guy.”

“And very cute.” Angelique added in a dreamy tone. “I could easily fancy ‘im.”

You couldn’t help but get ruffled, but you remained silent.

“Um….” Lily thought quick for an excuse and then blurted out, “He has a girlfriend!” she laughed nervously.

“What?” Angelique asked in surprise. “Who?”

 _Yeah, that’s what I’d like to know._ you thought, knitting your eyebrows together.

“Lacelin.”

You covered your mouth as you began to cough. As soon as Lily said your name, you had begun to choke on your spit.

“That girl you introduced me to last night?” Angelique asked in disbelief; that just ruffled your feathers more.

“Yes!” Lily laughed shakily. “Her and Remus are quite smitten!”

 _Just keep digging that hole deeper, Lily._ you thought with a sigh.

“Oh, that iz too bad.” Angelique said in a faked sad tone. Soon the two girls left and you and Jodie snuck from the bathroom.

“Since when do you and Remus go out?” Jodie asked with a snicker as you rushed to get your things from the common room. “We don’t!” you said, blushing. “Lily made that up!”

“Why?”

“I…don’t know.” you admitted. Why did she?

x – x – x 

For the rest of the day you tried to talk to Lily, but every time you’d see her alone, before you could get a single word out Miss Kincade would suddenly be there, directing Lily’s attention from you. At break you found the now familiar scene between the two girls, so you sought out Jodie.

But to your dismay, she had called a Quidditch meeting on the pitch. With a sigh, you walked over to the large oak tree and sat at its trunk. You glanced up at Angelique and Lily who were walking towards the lake, neither noticing you at all. You pulled out your potions book and began to work on the homework assignment for that night.

After about five minutes you were aware of a shadow coming over you. Obviously a person, you looked up to see who it was. Your stomach did a back flip when your eyes met those of Remus Lupin.

“Why are you sitting alone?” he asked with a quizzical look, his head tilted slightly to the side.

“Oh…well….” you turned your head to look at Lily and Angelique without saying a word. You sighed. “I just wanted to get some work done.”

Remus blinked and started to step back. “Oh, I’m sorry to interrupt—”

You smiled, shaking your head. “No, it’s all right.”

“Are you sure?” Remus asked, still looking as though he was offering to leave. You nodded and he smiled, sitting next to you. “What are you working on?”

“Potions.” you said with a tedious strain on your tone. “That mini-essay we have to write tonight is difficult.”

“I could help, if you’d like?” Remus offered, looking timid.

You couldn’t help but blush a little, and then more from the embarassement of blushing at his statement. It was a never ending cycle. But to stop it short you nodded and smiled, pushing a lock of hair behind your ear. “I’d really appreciate that.” 

He took your book in one hand and skimmed the page, beginning to point out things and generally summarize the lesson for you, pausing occasionally for any question you might add. It was new twist on studying and you wished he would always study with you. You found yourself actually paying better attention instead of your normal routine—a hum in your mind instead of the text. 

But what you hadn’t realized was the awful look Angelique Kincade was gracious enough to give you.

* * *


	9. The Rouse

**_Moonlit Nightmares_ **

Chapter IX – The Rouse

The sudden weight and pain of someone collapsing on top of you jerked you from your sleep. With a yelp you sat up, pushing away the covers so you could see who had disturbed you. You were met with the bright, smiling face of none-other-than Jodie.

“What?” you dragged out the question groggily, falling back onto your pillow.

Jodie climbed off her bed and announced in her usual loud voice (though it seemed so much louder this morning), “I thought you might like to know that the new beater has been posted on the bulletin board!” 

You sat up straight once again. “Really?”

Jodie nodded. “Hurry! Go see before a crowd gathers!” She laughed and bounced away down the stairs into the common room.

You felt your stomach begin to flip and cringe with anxiety. It just got worse the longer you waited, so you were still pulling on your shoes as you hopped down the stairs into the common room.

A crowd was already beginning to form around the posted parchment. You recognized one third year from the tryout as he turned away, looking disappointed. This only made you more restless. Your hopes soared—could you really have made it?

Muttering polite phrases you picked your way through the crowd. When you finally reached the announcement board your stomach clenched so tightly that you stopped breathing. You read the message over and over, slowly registering that it read:

_The New Gryffindor Beater is:  
LACELIN CRILL_

“Congratulations!”

You were aware of being hugged from the side by Jodie, but you found it hard to respond through your shock.

“I-I’m really it?” you asked in disbelief.

Jodie pulled back and nodded enthusiastically. “Yes! You’ll be a great beater, Lacey!”

You finally got over the initial shock. A large grin broke out on your face and you threw your arms into the air exclaiming, “Yes!”

“That has to be the loudest sound I’ve ever heard from Lacey.”

You and Jodie turned to see Sirius and James emerging from the small gathering. Outside the circle of the crowd they caught glimpses of Remus and Peter waiting for their comrades to return.

You blushed and looked down, embarrassed. Sirius was right, you really had never done something like that in front of people; shy Lacelin, you were.

“Oh, good. You two, will you help Lacey before our next game? I think she could use a few extra practices.” Jodie addressed Sirius and James.

“No problem.” Sirius said right off, shrugging his shoulders nonchalantly.

“Shouldn’t our other beater work with her?” James asked.

“I need to work with him.” Jodie said simply with no intent on explaining further. 

While they carried out their conversation you sank deeper and deeper into a hole. Sirius and James were going to be helping you with Quidditch? Immediately a fear was born inside you—being around two of Remus’ best friends will make it easier for them to find out or ask about your alleged relationship with Remus, thanks to Lily.

Pessimism took over for the rest of the day and many scenarios of your fear ran through your mind. That night was to be your first practice with Sirius and James.

You hadn’t realized how hard Quidditch players worked. Except for weekends they practice every day but Thursday, which were now your practices with Sirius and James. If necessary they would practice with you on weekends as well. You hoped it wouldn’t be needed.

As you sat down in your last class of the day you wondered if you were really cut out for sports. All day you heard conversations that went sort of like this:

“I’m sure she only got it because of Jodie.”

“Don’t forget Sirius and James!”

“Blimey, that’s three people! However did she get Sirius and James in her favor?”

“I don’t know. How could a _bookworm_ get _beater_ for Gryffindor?”

You’d only heard snippets, and not that many. It wasn’t an all over the school topic, but it certainly felt that way to you now. Bookworm—that was true. You dug deeper and deeper into your self pitying hole until—

“Well, look, Sirius; our new beater!” Someone sat down next to you, rather close. You could feel their arm against yours.

“So it is, James.” On your other side someone flopped down next to you, also very close.

You looked side-to-side and sighed. “Hi Sirius, hi James.” you said dully.

They raised an eyebrow, glancing at each other before turning their attention back to you. “What’s wrong?” James asked.

“You should be excited!” Sirius added.

You made a lame attempt to smile. “Just having an off day.” You hoped they’d leave it at that.

Of course, they didn’t. Sirius’ arm fell around your shoulders. “What have we told you about lying?”

“Technically, I’m not lying.” you replied.

“But that’s technically, we go for sure.” James countered. “Tell us what’s bugging you.”

You sighed. Apparently the only way to get rid of them was to tell them, and obviously lying wasn’t going to work. “Do you think I can be a good beater?”

“We’ve already told you that.” Sirius replied.

You thought back to the night you overheard the marauders in the hallway.

_“Beater, hm?” Sirius seemed to study you for a moment, and then said, “Yes, I could see you as beater.”_

_“But do try out. I think you’ll make it.”_

_“You have me and Sirius’ vote, anyway.” James grinned at you._

“Then why do I need extra practices?” you asked, resting your elbows on the table.

“We have to catch you up.” James answered. “On plays, you know.”

“Is that really it?” you blinked at him.

“Well…your batting needs work.” Sirius added innocently.

“Of course.” you sighed. You really didn’t know anything about sports, but you did feel better now. Was it just because of Sirius and James’ encouragement? The way they suddenly took to you was baffling but hey, you weren’t complaining.

“Are you fellows…um, are you Padfoot, Prongs, and Wormtail?” you asked quietly. Thinking back to the Thursday before the full moon you had remembered the bewitched parchment still closed in your drawer.

Sirius smirked, as if he expected you would figure it out. “I’m Padfoot.”

“I’m Prongs.” James made a small bow. “And Wormtail is Peter.”

“You’re the only person outside the marauders who know those names.” Sirius said.

“I won’t tell anyone.” You held your hand up as if it somehow emphasized your ‘oath.’ “Not even Lily,” you added for good measure.

“All right, class, let’s get started.” the professor announced as she walked up the aisle. She paused next to Sirius, “Mr. Black and Mr. Potter, get to your usual desks,” then continued to the front of the room.

Sirius squeezed your shoulder before removing his arm and walking back to his desk with James.

You were oblivious to Angelique’s stare as you opened your textbook.

x – x – x 

Your hair slapped you in the face as a bludger zoomed by, narrowly missing your ear. You readied your bat and turned in the direction it had gone just in time to see it speeding back towards you. If you missed you’d have a broken nose, so you concentrated, aiming your bat just right….

_CLACK!_

The bludger flew away from you towards the stands.

“Catch it, Sirius!” you heard James call from below. A couple moments later and Sirius took off after it on his broom. The bludger seemed to run from him, but he was finally able to tackle it.

You landed as James and Sirius fought to trap it in the box. “How was that?”

“Excellent.” Sirius said, sounding out of breath. “I say we take a break.” He flopped down in the grass.

“We still need to work on plays.” James said, though he sat down in front of his friend.

“Just a small one then.” Sirius said and James only shrugged.

You sat down, completing the human triangle, and laid your broom behind you.

“So how are things with you and Remus?” James asked you casually.

You were caught completely off guard and fought hard to keep a calm demeanor. “Sa-same as always, why?”

Sirius shrugged. “We thought something might have changed.”

“No.” you looked down at your hands. Did they know about Lily’s lie?

You were somewhat relieved when James announced the end of the break. Too bad the rest of the practice was gonna seem to drag along.

x – x – x 

Paranoia was beginning to live unwelcomed in your stomach. It was causing you to act strangely; you were clumsier, you forgot things, and you had a tendency of laughing nervously at everything.

You’d just made a fool of yourself in potions; as you got up to leave the hem of your skirt caught on the chair causing you to fall, dropping everything. Luckily nothing was shown, but you hastily grabbed your things and fled the classroom.

You turned a corner and started down another corridor, heading for the common room.

“Lacey!”

You turned at the voice, blinking. You smiled some when you saw Remus approaching you.

“Hey, Remus.” you said, turning to face him fully.

“You left this.” he held a book out to you; it was your novel.

“Oh!” You took it from him and hugged the book. “Thank you so much.”

He smiled softly. “You’re welcome.”

You opened your bag and shoved the book inside. How could you have left it?

“Are you all right?” Remus asked after a few moments.

You blinked, looking up at him. “Yes, it wasn’t that bad of a fall.”

“No, I mean, you’ve been acting strange lately.” Remus frowned. “Is something bothering you?”

You swallowed, feeling your heart beat against your ribcage. It was a completely different beat from the full moon. “I guess it’s just Quidditch and all….”

Remus nodded in understanding, not pressing any further. “Lacey, if you ever need to talk, you know you can come to me.” he said shyly.

You smiled, your cheeks heating up with a blush. “Th-thank you, Remus.” You looked up at him and felt your heart drop when you saw Angelique heading straight towards you. You quickly looked down at your watch. “Oh no, I have to go. See you, Remus!” You didn’t wait for an answer. Instead, you turned and hurried down the hall and around the corner.

* * *


	10. Exposure

**_Moonlit Nightmares_ **

Chapter X – Exposure

You leaned against the wall, leaning to the side so that you could hear what Angelique planned to say.

“Oh, where did Lacelinen run off to?” she asked, feigning innocence.

“I’m…not sure.” you heard Remus reply quietly. You felt bad for just taking off.

“Oh well, that just leaves you and me.” you heard Angelique giggle. You turned and peered around the corner. The French beauty was standing very close to Remus, too close.

“Seems to be.” Remus replied uncomfortably.

“It iz…too bad that you ‘ave a girlfriend.” Angelique pouted.

Your heart dropped into your stomach. _Oh Merlin no…._

“What?” Remus looked confused.

Angelique blinked, also confused. “Izn’t Lacey your girlfriend?”

Remus shook his head. “No.” Was it just your imagination or did he sound disappointed? It had to be your hopeful imagining.

Angelique looked and sounded anything but disappointed however. “Oh, I see….” 

You leaned back against the wall, hiding your face in your hands. What were you going to do? How could you possibly explain this? You could say that it was Lily’s idea, but would he believe you? He must think you the fool now. You felt so hopeless.

“Lacelin?”

You jerked your head up to see Remus looking at you. You immediately pushed yourself off the wall and ran away. You didn’t look back, even when he called for you to wait. You didn’t stop running until you reached your dorm where you tossed yourself onto the bed.

Tears leaked through your eyelids. What now? You could just stay in your dorm. But for how long?

“You lied to me, Evans!” you heard Angelique’s voice shout from the common room.

You only heard the mumble of Lily’s quiet response. A couple minutes later and Lily emerged into the dormitory.

She immediately made her way to you and sat down on the edge of the bed. “Lacey, I’m so sorry….”

“He must think I’m an imbecile….” you muttered sadly.

“No,” Lily rubbed your back comfortingly, “I’m sure he doesn’t.”

“I can’t face him.”

“Lacey…You really do like him now, don’t you?” Lily asked quietly.

You nodded, trying to swallow the lump in your throat. “I have for awhile….”

Lily gave you a quick hug. “Go talk to him. I’ll go with you if you want.”

You shook your head, though the offer was tempting. Lily respected your decision and just rubbed your back as you cried.

x – x – x 

A few hours passed and you realized with horror that you’d totally skipped your last class and dinner. You hoped your professor would understand. You didn’t want another detention.

Your dorm was empty; everyone was still at dinner. So you grabbed your bag and snuck down the stairs. Checking to see if the common room was clear first, you scurried across the floor and out the portrait hole. You ran straight for the library.

You found a table in the back where you hoped to be hidden. You pulled out your homework and tried to occupy yourself with it, but your mind couldn’t concentrate. You sighed, laying your head on your arms. When would all this be over?

“Lacelin?”

You looked up in surprise to see Remus standing there, looking down at you. You jumped to your feet and started to leave, but he held his hand out to stop you. “Wait, we need to talk.”

Your stomach began to squirm and churn in a nauseating way. Your nerves were working totally against you as you stared into Remus’ kind eyes. What would you do? You thought you might pass out.

“Why did Angelique think I was your boyfriend?” he asked bluntly, visually swallowing.

Something inside you seemed to topple over causing sick to rise in your throat. You covered your mouth with your hands and flew from the library towards the girls’ lavatories. You almost didn’t make it and lost your lunch in Myrtle’s toilet. You wished that you had just flushed your nerves.

x – x – x 

After that embarrassing incident Remus stopped trying to talk to you. Sirius and James also didn’t speak to you, but not out of contempt. You avoided their gazes and just tagged along after Lily everywhere hoping that you wouldn’t cross their path. You almost even followed her to the classes she had without you. She was kind enough to escort you to all of your classes though.

Angelique had started rumors about the both of you. She said that Lily used her friends and lied constantly. You were the quiet accomplice that she used in her ridiculous schemes. You had been able to successfully ignore them so far. You were worried more about Remus and what he believed.

If only you didn’t like him so much! It would have been so much easer if you didn’t want to watch his every move, hang on his every word….Something about Remus was hard to break away from. You could almost confidently say that you loved the boy, but you didn’t know if it was true yourself. You’d give just about anything for a hug from him or a kind word, but you only dreamed now.

You confided this in Lily one day as you both walked along the lakeshore. 

“Everything will be okay.” Lily said encouragingly, smiling kindly at you. She had been your pillar during this week.

“I hope so, I really do.” you replied softly with a sigh. You paused in clear sight of the oak tree where the four boys sat. You turned your back and gazed out at the lake, the water glittering like diamonds in the sun.

Suddenly, you felt a tug on your clothing and looked down just in time to see it tear down the middle and fall to the ground behind you, leaving you in only your undergarments and shoes. You screamed and immediately wrapped your arms tightly over your chest, closing your eyes as tears began to stream over your cheeks. Your face was beet red and you wished with all your might that you were invisible.

Lily reacted immediately, quickly removing her robe and wrapping it around your shoulders, shielding you from the many stares that were directed your way. You swallowed a sob as you allowed the redhead to usher you across the grounds. You opened your eyes as you passed the oak tree only to see Sirius holding his wand and hear laughter from that direction. You jerked your head away in horror, not able to believe what you’d just seen.

You didn’t leave your dorm that night and Lily stayed with you every second, trying to cheer you up. It seemed all you ever did now was cry and blubber.

Had it really been the marauders who cast the spell? You didn’t want to believe it, but it made so much sense to you. Why else was Sirius holding his wand and laughing? The only hope you had to hold onto was the fact that you didn’t _see_ Remus laughing, but you’d been in such a hurry and your vision had been a watery blur, there was no telling.

When would all of this be over?

* * *


	11. Sweet Victory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well, this is it everybody. I'm so glad many of you took the time to read and not only that, to review. It means a lot to me. :]
> 
> *Shameless advertising alert* Since many of you really enjoyed this story, you might enjoy my others. My writing has improved since this story (written in 2007). I have a HP fanfiction ongoing as of now, _The Black Sheep_. I would really appreciate any feedback you're willing to give.
> 
> Thank you! ♥
> 
> P.S. I'm very tempted to rewrite this story.
> 
> and THEN write a sequel.

**_Moonlit Nightmares_ **

Chapter XI – Sweet Victory

The morning after you woke up feeling extremely ill. You couldn’t move without something groaning in protest. Lily told the nurse, but she couldn’t come into the House. You were to go see her as soon as you could make the trip.

You didn’t want to see the nurse, you just wanted to be alone. You felt so ashamed and embarrassed.

Around dinner you were feeling a little better, so you dressed the best you could and sat on your bed for a little rest. Sleeping all day had given you a good deal of your energy back.

Your eyes fell to your dresser drawer. Remembering the note you pulled it open and retrieved the parchment.

It was blank again and you willed it to show you words, but it did no such thing. You dropped it on your bed and glared at it. Suddenly, an idea struck you. You dug out your quill and ink and spread the parchment on your dresser. You dipped the tip in ink as you thought of what to write. Finally you just wrote, “Hello?”

A minute passed with nothing happening. You were about to give up when—

_Hello, Lacelin._

Your breath caught in your throat. _Who is this?_

_…Someone you do not wish to see, but wishes to see you._

You didn’t have to think about who it was. _I do want to see you, Remus._

You didn’t receive a response for sometime and then his handwriting slowly crawled out before you.

_Meet me at the pitch._

_I will._

You left everything were it was and nearly ran out of your dorm. You made it to the pitch, your stomach flipping from nerves and what was left of your sickness. He wasn’t there yet, so you strolled farther along the grass. Your first match was in a few days. You had almost forgotten.

And forget again as you turned to see Remus walking towards you. You had to keep yourself from grinning; you came to learn the truth.

He stopped in front of you, his kind, sad eyes meeting yours. “Lacelin….”

“Wait, answer me truthfully,” you said boldly, swallowing hard. “Th-that prank…did Sirius cast it?”

Remus shook his head.

“Then why were you laughing and why did he have his wand out?” you asked angrily.

“Lacelin, we had just cast a prank on Snape.” Remus explained, his voice pleading for you to believe him. “We didn’t know what had happened until we saw you run by with Lily….”

You looked down at your feet. You wanted to just believe him, leave it at that, but you fought to hold onto your skepticism. “Then who did the prank?” you asked quietly.

Remus frowned. “I don’t know….”

You swallowed hard, trying not to cry. “I was so embarrassed….” your voice shook. You looked up at Remus, your eyes watering. “Lily told Angelique you were my boyfriend, and then I run out on you twice…then that prank….” you fought hard to keep your voice steady, but your eyes were threatening to spill over.

Remus laid a hand on your shoulder. Your stomach flipped at his touch.

“Why did Lily tell Angelique that?”

“She didn’t want Angelique flirting with you because she knew that I fancy you,” you admitted. There was no way you could be anymore embarrassed.

Remus seemed taken aback by what you said. For a moment he remained silent, just staring at your trembling form. “You…you fancy me?”

You nodded, swallowing hard once again. This constant crying needed to stop.

Your eyes widened as Remus pulled you towards him, his arms wrapping securely around you. You remained motionless from shock, and then returned his embrace.

Your heart fluttered and suddenly you could see the sun. The lump in your throat dissolved and you felt light hearted and genuinely happy. This would be a perfect time to cue that Beatles song, “Here Comes the Sun.”

“Lacelin….” Remus said and you shifted some in response. “I fancy you as well.”

You pulled back, looking up at him in surprise. “You do?” you asked hopefully.

Remus laid his palm against your cheek, his thumb caressing your skin. “Yes,” he said softly and slowly leaned forwards.

Your heart soared as you leaned forwards as well. Your lips almost touched, you could feel his breath and yours mingling.

“ _Stop!_ ”

You both pulled back quickly and turned to look at the entrance of the pitch.

Angelique Kincade was marching angrily towards you, her fists clenched.

“You are zome piece of work, Crill.” Angelique spoke your name like poison. “You don’t give up, even when you’re expozed!”

It took a moment for what she said to sink in, but when it did you could feel anger boiling within you. 

“ _You_ casted that spell?” you asked through clenched teeth.

“Who elze?” Angelique asked and laughed. “It was genius, wazn’t it?”

“Wrong answer!” said two voices in unison. A spell was uttered and a light flew past you, hitting Miss Kincade and sending her flying backwards.

You blinked as she scrambled to her feet. Great ugly, green boils were growing all over her skin. When they got big enough they burst, steam rising from them. She screamed and ran from the pitch, clutching her once beautiful face.

You turned around to see James and Sirius looking very proud of themselves. You hugged them both.

“That was brilliant!”

“We know.” James said with no hint of modesty.

“Go on, get back to whatever you were doing.” Sirius smirked and winked at Remus before walking away with James. Peter was waiting at the entrance.

You looked back up at Remus smiling. “Should we do what he said?”

Remus smiled and laid a hand on the side of her head, under your ear. He leaned forwards and your lips met in an eruption of bliss. You wrapped your arms around his neck. You were flying through the sky, your heart light and cheerful. All time had stopped. “All you need is love,” would be a very fitting cue.

The world seemed to dull when you finally parted. Both faces were flushed and Remus had a sly grin.

“Next moon, let’s share a room.”

You laughed, blushing slightly, and kissed him again.

x – x **END** x – x


End file.
